Be sunny with me.

I'm all about the sunny.

I love being optimistic,

and I always find a bright side to things.

Although it is hard sometimes,

because going to the dark, depressing, sad place is easy.

So even I have my off days.

But I don't like seeing something for only it's flaws.

Although it takes effort,

to see past something/someones flaws.

Leading with this thought process,

is refreshing and what carries me from day-to-day.

It is how I roll.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect,

because I believe I am far from that.

Strongly, I believe my flaws make and define me as a person.

Without them,

I would not be me.

Plus being flawless is completely over-rated in my eyes.

It's the things like walking into walls, that make us us

(haha no I do not walk into walls..no not me...yes...in my own house too).

But I'm drifting from the matter at hand here.

Experiencing unpleasant events,

and growing up with a negative impact of any sort,

strains people's view on optimism.

For them to start slowly thinking in a different way,

from what they are used to...

is hard.

So if you are trying to find the sunny,

and can not quite seem to find it.

I'll give you some of mine...

there is plenty to go around.

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you never see the shadow."

From thee optimist Helen Keller

Perfect to me.

When you love someone,

that pure and passionate love tends to smooth things over.

Until the imperfections are gone,

the dumps flattened,

and the dull spots polished.

To the point where you feel...

flaws...what are those things?

Over time you even forget there were flaws to begin with.

You just see the person.

The person you love,

the person you share everything with,

the person that you love so much and so deeply...despite your pint-size-ness.

To us,

this person whom we love so much,

is the image perfection.

Nothing they ever do or say will change that.

It is not necessary for them to go out of their way to be perfect,

to strive for this image we see them as normally.

Because we will always see them in this light,

no matter what.

Forever and always,

You and no one else.

Mine own.

Today me and the Mother were chatting,

about someone we know who has just had sex.

Pardon my bluntness,

but I really don't know how to tip toe around that.

I mean I could call it coloring, but that would just be plain confusing.

Sex has always been a...unique subject,

for me waiting is the option I have taken.

No matter how difficult and challenging that journey might be.

I have told my parents about me wanting to wait,

so they are well aware of my decision.

However,

sometimes I think they forget,

since they often spring talks about coloring

(haha sorry, had to throw that in there)

on me every once and a while.

No joke.

It's seems like you can never get away from the

awkward

stiff

uncomfortable

dreaded...

talks.

Even when you have decided not to do it.

But I'm drifting away from the subject.

My Mom had the "your body is a precious gift" talk.

I was really confused,

because this was really the first time she had said anything about it in major detail.

Besides, it is sort of late in the game to mention it NOW.

Not that I was totally in the dark about this topic.

I proudly hold my body in a high standard,

and will only give it away to someone whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

By no means, do I need to be told to think of myself in this way either.

Still, she had just never spoke so frankly about this.

But whatever, maybe she felt she had to.

Maybe since many girls give it away so quickly now-a-days,

she thought she was doing me a favor by informing me of this.

But I got this one.

If you give a small piece of yourself away whenever you do...color,

I certainly want that person to be someone I love deeply and passionately.

That beautiful someone who will be with me forever and always,

who will treasure me, think the world of me, and love me more then life itself.

That person for me, will be the man I chose to marry.

But maybe that is not your preference.

Believing in marriage, for some maybe far off.

Choosing to wait at all may not even be on the radar.

Whatever you elect to do,

finding this massive answer to the very big question,

takes time,

and should not be made in the heat of the moment.

It should be thought through, and heck,

throw in a pro/con if needed.

You should do this because you want to.

And I wrestled with my decision for a long time and still in a way do.

I have wondered if I have picked waiting, not just for myself but others.

But I have thought this through as much as possible.

I just hope others will think about sex as much as I have.

Once you do something,

you can never change it

or take it back.

Fun at the Funeral.

The other day,

I was sitting with the Boyfriend,

chatting over a skillfully crafted spaghetti dinner,

made by yours truly.

But this post is not about my amazing cooking skills,

so don't get excited

(I won't tell you my secret ingredient either, so don't try to bribe me!).

We got on the subject of funerals.

He stated he didn't like them....

I patted his shoulder saying no one really ever does.

I have been to two, in my life...

four counting the lovely services I have attended of two departed pets.

All experiences were not pleasant.

I cried at the first one I ever went to,

it was for my Tia's Mother's funeral,

and I cried seeing my Tia cry.

Just randomly bursting into tears,

and then on top of it all I was trying to hide it...so I started hyperventilating.

Strangely, I didn't feel out of place in that moment,

since everyone else seemed to be consumed with tears.

Then at that very moment(back to spaghettie dinner ),

as I spooned my spaghetti into my mouth,

I realized I did not want my funeral to be depressing.

It's bad enough I have checked-out of this world,

leaving behind loved ones,

but the last occasion of importance in my honor is going to be unpleasant and sad? I think not.

I'm sorry but I want a celebration of my life.

Demand that everyone wear every bright color of the rainbow,

and just have fun, with loud music, and wild stories told of my (upcoming) youth/adulthood.

I do not want such sadness plagued on the ending of my life,

I mean it's bad enough I'm gone,

so why not try to make the best of a joyless event,

and throw an awesome party I'll be sorry I missed.

You will wear this.

I was YouTube-ing earlier this morning,

and stumbled across a video dictated to new fall fashion trends.

Now, I have never been one to follow fashion trends...ever.

I just wear what I think looks cute, and what I feel is an expression of me.

But for many reasons, I don't follow fashion trends.

It's hot all the time were I live,

needless to say,

I'm in summer apparel ninety nine percent of the year

(there is this crazy one percent of slightly cold-ness for a brief time. That is when I whip out my bean-E) .

Another reason is,

I have never been one to afford buying a ton of new clothing every new season.

Lastly,

I have never been one to follow a trend of any kind.

That's all fashion trends are to me,

one person making certain clothing popular simply by saying it is,

and then the rest of the public soon ensuing, assuming we should all just wear this.

Do not miss-read my opinion as me dissing fashion,

by no means am I doing this.

I love fashion and clothing,

because it is an expression of yourself.

With colors, prints and styles

we can create a image on the outside of how we feel on the inside.

I'm all about self expression.

HOWEVER,

if the whole point of fashion is wearing clothing you specifically purchased to express the way you personally feel...then by buying clothing that is a trend developed for the general masses...isn't the whole point of self expression kind of senseless?

In the famous words of my man Forrest Gump....

that's all I have to say about that.

I love you.

Is it just me..

or have you ever found yourself involved in a movie moment.

One that was perfect...

if only for those few fleeting seconds.

You zone out in a way,

trying to memorize every little detail about that moment.

The smells, the feeling, the noise,

the way you felt.

It's the closest thing to perfection you know you will ever get to.

So you just focus on everything, to remind yourself you experienced perfection at least once or twice in your existence.

I have had a handful of these moments recently,

and they were just so utterly perfect.

It was awesome.

I know it is really corny and everything.

I mean,

I remember everything as it is, and now I have labeled moments that are special-er.

That are in an inertly new league all by themselves.

So am I the only crazy...

or have you experienced moments like these?

That's life.

I find myself to be optimistic.

Thinking of the better things in life...

I find myself repeating things could always be worse.

It happens often,

but whatever...

things could be worse.

Lately, my Mom and Dad have been telling me

That's life

whenever something negative, unpleasant or bad happens.

It really gets under my skin, and bothers me to the very core.

Making, me want to give them a long huff,

combined with a really long eye roll

with just a little dash of whatever attitude I can sum up that moment.

Generally,

I like to look forward to my up an coming life.

I can't wait to experience places, people and events.

To just plain live.

But when they say that...

it's such a killjoy.

I feel exasperated...

and that I should no longer be excited about life anymore.

If this is a lovely preview of what is to come,

I would rather just stay under my covers all day.

It seems better then going out into the world, being crushed by "life" .

Being thrown around day to day by "life".

Having the joy smacked out of you everyday by "life".

Every.

Single.

Day.

Sorry, not for me...I'll pass.

However...

I'm pretty sunshine Suzie when I want to be.

I am doubting highly, that life is just one massive swirl of negative moments,

happening one after another,

after another.

I won't buy this line of crap-oh-la.

I mean sure life will not, by any means, be perfect.

But I don't find life to be bad all the time...

just briefly.

Life will have it's ups,

and man will the ups be pure bliss.

Life with also have it's downs,

and those will be pretty low points.

But it about the big mash-up of everything, and what you do.

Your bad days might be bad,

but it's merely a small part of life,

tomorrow will be better then yesterday,

because it's a new day.

Because things could always be worse.