I admit when it comes to certain issues, I'm a bit harsh.
I think a strong level of female independence is vital for a woman. It helps us know who we are, and have a greater understanding of our own worth. When women form a chain of dependencies on men and other people, it grows thin with me, and I often get bothered. A friend of mine recently proclaimed independence by moving out of her parents house to live on her own. The taste of freedom alone, seemed to be giving her the notion she was all grown up. I thought it was pretty amusing at first, she was now dealing with the common guy roommate issues, like the awkward moment when the toilet seat is left up, and all that fun stuff. I asked in the most generic way, how rent all worked out, she answered with the fact that her boyfriend paid for her rent. I have to say, I was pretty dumb founded by this. Here she was bragging about breaking away from mommy and daddy, and yet she formed a whole new pathetic dependency. To me this was a joke.
Since she is the type of person that only tolerated being babied and coddled. I kept this opinion to myself, and never gave way to any notion of my disapproval. After all, this was her life and I was merely a spectator in the world she thought was centering around her. Her new living situation was to precious, I knew honesty would be destructive to our friendship. So I pulled away from speaking and being around her, from pure disapproval, pity and disgust.
It might have been harsh to write her off so quickly, but we were not very good friends to begin with, and actions such as that speak louder than anything she could say. Knowing that her claim to independence started with an act of pure dependence, bothered me to much. It was to contradictory, and to much for me to be around. I didn't think of myself as above her, as she thought towards me. I just no longer wanted to be around such decay of personal anatomy. She is backwards and juvenile. Yet, what bothered me even more, was how she was one of many contributing to the weak image of a woman relying on a man to take care of her.
I will always be a rock for myself, and although it won't be easy, I will never give someone power over me that is so crippling without.
3 comments:
Hmm very interesting post. Too much dependency is never a good thing. I know for a fact that I will never ever depend on a guy for money when I'm older. When I get married, I should have my career in place. All I want is for him to take care of me, love me, and protect me. That's what I depend on in relationships.
Mmmm I missed ure blogs!
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